On Christmas eve, a baby was born
by insipidity
Summary: A piece of holiday fluff  kinda, since I don't write fluff . Merlin wakes up to find himself in bed with Gwaine. Sadly, they didn't do anything, and yet somehow, there's also a baby involved. NOT mpreg. Very mild, almost implied G/M.
1. Chapter 1

Merlin awoke. The events of last night came crashing back into his head. Gwaine had noticed he had been avoiding the man, and had asked to take him to a tavern to spend some time with him. Merlin had been unable to find an excuse, so here they were.

He had given Gwaine too much to drink. Firstly, to distract the man from asking too many questions, secondly to maybe make the man give him just one, rough, drunk kiss. That's all he wanted.

Or so he thought.

They had gotten a room, yes, but it wasn't for anything like that: Gwaine was simply too drunk to walk home, so Merlin had, out of the goodness of his heart, gotten them a room (he simply didn't have the money to get two rooms, and he was afraid to leave Gwaine alone. How kind of Merlin).

Gwaine had passed out soon after. Merlin had kept on drinking. Screw destiny. Screw Arthur. He was ticked off over everything that was happening in his life, or rather what wasn't: he did everything he could to save the kingdom, and in return he couldn't even make one of his friends love him? 'Unfair' seems like an understatement.

He had passed out too: he must have. He didn't remember what had happened.

Then he heard crying. For one fleeting moment he thought it was Gwaine, but the knight would never make a voice like that. He quickly looked to his side to see a baby. The little one was crying. Instinctively, Merlin reached out and held him in his arms. The baby was completely naked, so Merlin took a part of Gwaine's cape to turn it into a diaper. He would fix the cape later. Where had the baby come from? Nobody else was in the room save him, Gwaine and the baby. Why would someone dump a baby on two men in the middle of the night? The scenario didn't make any sense, but neither did the baby's existence on their bed, either.

The baby reached out to touch him, and Merlin helped her by bringing her closer to his face. The baby touched his nose, and suddenly Merlin felt a chill go through him. _Father?_

Merlin flinched. It was the same as he had felt with the druids. Someone speaking inside his head. Merlin looked at the baby. "I'm not your father. Do you know where he is?"

The baby looked confused. Then she pointed at the ever-sleeping Gwaine. _Father_.

Merlin looked at the knight for a while. "So Gwaine is your father?"

The baby smiled. Merlin felt sick. How could Gwaine have had a baby with someone without telling him? Or maybe he didn't know. The baby's mother had come and given him to his father. Yes, that made more sense. Now that Gwaine was a knight, he could take care of a baby, unlike before.

The baby grabbed his finger. Merlin melted. He couldn't be angry at an infant. Suddenly the baby's grip tightened. _Father_.

Merlin looked into the child's earnest eyes. "A child can only have one father", he explained sympathetically, though he was quite certain the baby understood nothing.

_Father_. The baby repeated, pointing at him.

Suddenly Merlin had an awful thought. Calm down, he commanded himself. Maybe that's the only word she knows. He rushed to the hall to test his theory. As he ordered breakfast from a passing maid, he spoke to the baby. _Is she your father too?_

The baby looked at him, looking disturbed. Merlin nodded to the maid and returned to the room. _I am so screwed_. The baby looked at him. Merlin realized what he had 'said'. "That's a bad word, don't use that!"

Merlin then placed the baby next to Gwaine for warmth and comfort while he pondered. He didn't remember anything from the night before. Apparently he had created a child, inspired by himself..and Gwaine. This was their child. But how was that possible? In order to create life, another life must be taken. Those were the rules. Merlin quickly rejected the idea of him having killed someone while drunk. _Not _that_ drunk_.

Before he had time to get further than that, he noticed that Gwaine was waking up. If the baby talked to Gwaine like that, Merlin would be finished. Gwaine would find out about the magic, them having a child together and Merlin being stone-cold crazy, all at once (sane people don't create babies as a form of courtship).

He leaped forward to grab the baby away from the man. Gwaine was yanked awake. His first sight was of Merlin. The boy was holding something in his arms, protecting it from Gwaine. Why was he afraid of him? He remembered them going to sleep rather peacefully.

"Merlin?"

Merlin clutched the bundle of cloth in his arms tighter. He looked more scared than Gwaine had ever seen him. "What's wrong?"

"I need to leave. Official business. For Arthur, of course." Merlin didn't even try to sound truthful. He just needed to get out of the room. As he moved to do so, the baby sensed it and let out a scream. Only, Merlin couldn't hear it. He only saw its effects, as Gwaine grabbed his head to cover his ears. Stop it, you're hurting him!

Father! The baby seemed unwilling to leave his other parent behind, and was willing to do whatever it took to stop that from happening. Suddenly the baby was in front of Gwaine on the floor. The knight hadn't noticed anything odd as he had been kneeling on the floor, doubled with pain until the baby had emerged in front of him. Merlin hadn't let her go, he had just looked away and suddenly she had been gone. Gwaine grabbed her.

"What's this baby doing here?" Gwaine asked Merlin and tickled the baby's stomach. "Aren't you a cutie-pie."

"I don't know", Merlin replied honestly. "But she's our responsibility now." Also true. "Won't you give him back to me, I'll ask Gaius what to do with him?" Merlin motioned him to hand the baby back over to him. When Gwaine tried to comply with his wishes, the baby gave out a loud cry.

"I don't think he's too happy about that. Maybe it's better I carry him to Gaius."

Merlin sighed. This day was getting better and better. "Alright then. And it's a her."

"Okay then." Gwaine nodded and caressed her hair, which she already had a little.

_Don't talk to him like this, please? _Merlin knew he was asking a lot from a babe that was maybe an hour old, but trying never hurt, did it?

The babe ignored him and clutched to Gwaine. Merlin could sense a wave of betrayal from her. She knew Merlin had been about to take her away from Gwaine, without even telling him he had just become a father. _It's not as simple as that_, he tried convincing her, but she rejected his words with a scowl. _I'm sorry. I was trying to protect myself. And you_. Merlin tried again, this time with more success. The baby smiled at him and celebrated their making up by drooling on Gwaine's shirt.


	2. Chapter 2

Gwaine had started to really like the child. It seemed odd, even to himself, that he of all people would want to care for a child, but as he and Merlin searched for the baby's real parents, Gwaine didn't mind taking care of her. On one particular morning, Gwaine and Merlin had gone to the citadel to ask around if the people had seen anyone abandon a baby at the tavern. Gwaine, carrying the baby in his arms, noticed that Merlin's efforts to find her parents seemed half-hearted. Apparently Merlin had already lost hope over finding them. Gwaine didn't mind. If they couldn't find the parents, it was most probably because they didn't want to be found, and that meant the baby could stay with them. He and Merlin and little baby-yet-to-be-named.

"I think we should call her Val."

Merlin flinched awake from his thoughts. "What?"

Gwaine repeated his words. "It's short for Valerie. It will be cute when she grows up, but we can call her Val now so it's not overly cute when she's a kid. Perfect, right?"

Merlin gave him a faint half-smile. "And if we find her parents?"

"Well, we have to call her something until we do. If we find them, she goes to them. If not, we'll keep her."

Merlin raised his eyebrow. "We?"

Gwaine turned to look at him. "Yeah, me and you. We found her together, she's ours now."

Gwaine couldn't decipher Merlin's expression. He seemed melancholic all of a sudden. Gwaine pushed him a little. "You've been down ever since we found her. What's the matter, don't you like babies?"

Merlin sighed and reached out to take Val from him. "I _love_ her. I just..I'm just worried something bad is going to happen to her. That's all." He stared intensely into the baby's eyes for a moment. Gwaine saw that he was thinking of something, no doubt imagining the horrors that could befall the baby. He hurried to save the man from himself and patted his back. "You are going to be a great father, Merlin. You're already worried like one", he stated.

Merlin's lips twisted.

"Obviously you need to move in with me. I'll talk to Arthur." Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Merlin's lips tightened anew. "I can't. I have to stay with Arthur."

"Alright, she'll stay with me then. You'll come when you can." Gwaine saw this as no problem. Merlin caressed the baby's head. "I'm going to miss her."

"That's what you get for choosing Arthur over our child", Gwaine joked and left Merlin staring.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin's work kept him busy, but whenever he could, he came to see Val and Gwaine. Gwaine had his knightly duties to attend to, but usually he could find someone to watch over Val while he couldn't be with her. More often than not the obligation landed on Gaius, who accepted it with pleasure, as he got to feel for the first time in his life what it was like to have a grandson.

All in all, Merlin, Gwaine and Val had become a miniature family in the few short weeks they had spent together with the baby. Sometimes Merlin came to see them and soon collapsed from fatigue. Gwaine would carry him on the bed and they would sleep side by side, the baby between them. Gwaine couldn't have asked for more.

This went on for quite some time, until Arthur asked Gwaine for a private audience in the crown room. Gwaine was quite curious to know the reason. When he arrived, he was met with two guards at the door. Besides them, the only two people in the room were Arthur and Merlin who were standing in front of the throne.

Gwaine hadn't found a baby sitter so he had taken Val with him. Considering she was only a few weeks old, she could hardly comprehend any secrets Arthur might want to share with him, let alone disclose to enemies, so he didn't see any problem with taking her. He just hoped Arthur would be as understanding. Merlin seemed nervous. Actually, he seemed worried. Gwaine tried to ease his mind by smiling at him, but the boy stared at the ground and didn't notice him.

Arthur motioned Gwaine to approach him. Once he was close enough to hear him speak, Arthur greeted him and then sat down. Merlin didn't move.

"I'll go straight to what I need to ask you about, to not waste any time", Arthur started after first hesitating for a moment.

"I appreciate that", Gwaine grinned and improved his hold on the baby. Merlin finally looked up and looked like he wanted to hold Val. Gwaine didn't understand why the boy had to make things so difficult. The boy wanted to hold Val, he should hold Val. He stepped over to the boy and placed Val in his arms. "You know you want to. Just take her."

Merlin clutched to the girl and smiled for the first time since Gwaine had arrived. He caressed the baby's cheek and tickled her tummy, making the baby give out small giggles.

Arthur, feeling neglected, grunted. "So, Gwaine."

Gwaine remembered what he had come to see him for. "Right. So what is it?"

Arthur looked embarrassed. "Actually, it's about the baby."

"Val."

Arthur already seemed like he really didn't want to be there, Gwaine's interruption only made things worse by distracting him. "What?"

"Her name is Val."

"Right. Well, _Val_. Is she..." Arthur's voice trailed away. "Is she.."

"Spit it out", Gwaine told the prince. If he was going to have to explain the birds and the bees to the little prince, he would need a couple of drinks in before that.

"Is she _yours_?" Arthur's lips tightened.

Gwaine's eyes widened. He didn't understand where Arthur was getting at. He glanced at Merlin, who seemed ashamed for some reason. He looked back at Arthur, who seemed mortified.

"Merlin told me that you two found the baby together some weeks ago while you were staying at a tavern-"

"-which is true", Gwaine added. Arthur sighed and continued. "And the baby just appeared out of thin air while you were sleeping?"

"Yes", Gwaine said, now sounding a bit more unsure.

"That doesn't sound even remotely believable. I know Merlin can't lie to me-", Arthur said. Merlin seemed amused for some reason, but quickly changed his expression back to serious. "-but I believe he would, if it were to protect a friend."

Gwaine looked at Merlin, who seemed surprised, then back to Arthur. "Arthur, just say what you are thinking." He had a bad feeling about this.

"People are talking. Usually I pay no heed to gossip, but I take it seriously when it concerns my knights. We have to set an example to the people."

"And the people are saying..what?" Gwaine asked . He was growing annoyed with Arthur's round-about way of speaking. The man was still too much of a prude, despite Gwaine's best efforts to mellow him down.

"That you got a woman pregnant and she gave you the baby."

Gwaine couldn't say anything. It was possible. There were many nights he couldn't remember. Arguing wouldn't help. "And what if that were true?"

"Gwaine, don't. You know that's not what happened!" Merlin cut in.

"Doesn't matter. Val is too important." Gwaine's resolve stayed firm. He had been accused of worse things.

Arthur was about to say something, but then Val moved. They all stared, mesmerized, as she drew a circle in the air. She moved her hand and the circle, now glowing with yellow, attached itself to Gwaine's chest. Gwaine and Arthur looked surprised. Merlin looked annoyed. "That's not how you cheer him up!" He told the baby. He then looked up to see the two men staring at him. _Crap_.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked, stupefied. The baby knew magic and Merlin knew about it?

Merlin looked as if he was about to explain it all to him somehow. Then he just gave up and ran. The guards tried to stop him, but he sent them flying on the floor. Gwaine and Arthur charged after him as well. Merlin stopped Arthur with his magic, but Gwaine remained unaffected. He followed him. Merlin grabbed Val tighter and ran.

He made his way to Arthur's chambers. He figured nobody would think to look there. Just to make sure, he turned them both invisible.

Gwaine saw Merlin run towards Arthur's chambers. He stopped for a moment. What would he say to the boy? _So, Val has magic. Now it turns out you do too. How about that_. He shook his head and entered the room. He saw Merlin cringing on the floor, holding Val tightly to him. "Merlin, what is going on?"

Merlin looked stunned. "You can see me?"

"Yes. Are you playing invisible?"

"I _am_ invisible, to everyone else but you, apparently." Merlin turned to look at Val. "She won't let me use magic against you."

"Well, that's...nice. Well done, Val", Gwaine said and grinned to the baby, who giggled in reply.

"What are you going to do to us?" Merlin asked him, bringing them both back to the situation at hand. Gwaine looked at him. Merlin took a tighter grip on the baby. "Don't hurt us."

Gwaine had lost the grip on this conversation a while ago, but now he lost even the subject of it. "What?"

Merlin continued. He looked terrified. "Don't kill us. She's yours."

Gwaine lost the last of his hold on to whatever they were talking about. Then he thought he grasped it again. "Yes, of course, Val's mine. And yours."

"No, I mean she's really _your_ child. That night when we 'found' her..I was drunk. I created her, most probably because I was lonely. In your image-" he took a sigh. "-and mine."

Gwaine didn't understand. "Why were you lonely? I was with you."

"But not 'with' me." Merlin looked as if he regretted uttering those words. He bit his lip.

"Okay, maybe I passed out, but I was there nonetheless", Gwaine argued, feeling like he was somehow missing the point. Merlin looked away, still holding onto Val like she was the only thing that mattered. "Why would I create a child out of you?"

"Because I'm the most handsome of your friends?" Gwaine joked. Merlin didn't laugh. Gwaine looked at him, and finally understood. "You.."

"I wanted a family with you. I knew you didn't feel the same way. It didn't bother me." Merlin looked away. "I should never have gotten drunk that night."

Gwaine's mind was racing. For once in his life, somebody wanted a family with him. Merlin wants a family with me. When did I become so blessed? "But if you hadn't, Val wouldn't be here." Gwaine stated, and Merlin nodded. "It's more complicated than that. But yes."

"What's complicated?" Gwaine preferred a straight line. Merlin wanted to be with him, he wanted to be with him, they had Val. Perfect. Right?

"I need to stay with Arthur. It's my destiny to protect him."

Gwaine understood. "And he saw Val do magic, and you as well. Merlin, I'll be the first person to admit Arthur can be a wanker, but you can reason with him. But we have to go back."

"And if he puts us all to death?"

"Then we fight. But before that, we'll try to convince Arthur."

The trio made their way to the throne room where Arthur was busy giving out orders to find them and capture them. Seeing them there, Arthur snapped his fingers and everybody left, leaving Arthur alone with the trio.

"Merlin. You are the last person I'd have expected to use magic." Arthur's words were uttered with an uncertain tone. Arthur still had trouble believing the boy possessed magic, regardless of what he had witnessed the boy do to his guards.

Merlin sighed. "It's a relief I can finally be honest with you after all this time."

They spoke for a while. First Merlin told him what he could do. Then he told Arthur what he had done over the years for the good of the kingdom. Finally, the conversation was directed to the more recent events. "I created Val out of magic. She's my daughter." Merlin tickled Val, who was resting on Gwaine's arms. Gwaine looked at him and Merlin added: "And Gwaine's."

Arthur ignored the last part. He spoke to Gwaine. "So you knew about this before?"

"No, never before today."

Merlin saw Arthur's eyes narrow in suspicion and hurried to defend the man. "I swear, he didn't."

Arthur was silent for a long time. Finally, he opened his mouth to speak. "Merlin. You have been a loyal servant for a long time to me, and as it turns out, to Camelot. If you are telling the truth, and you want to protect Camelot, we are getting a powerful ally. If you are lying, I will personally kill you."

Merlin gave him a crooked smile. "And Val?"

"She's your responsibility", Arthur muttered. "Make sure she doesn't cause any trouble. Or at least not too much more than any other child."

Merlin smiled widely. "Thank you Arthur."

"Run along now. And let's keep this conversation between us for now. My father has hated magic for so long that we need to gradually lift the veil of terror from people's eyes."

"So, no flashy light show in celebration of you and Gwen's wedding?" Merlin asked.

Arthur hissed between clenched teeth. "_Gradually_."

Outside the throne room, Merlin turned to Gwaine, who pulled him close. Gwaine kissed him on the cheek, causing the boy to break out into a smile. "Let's go home." Val giggled and Gwaine gave her a kiss as well.

_The End_

oooooooo

Holiday fluff is code for 'don't need to bother with details or even plot'. It was hasty, I admit, but this wasn't exactly my grand attempt at canonity anyway.


End file.
